As you may or may not know, many are beginning to praise DoomB0t and his ‘NO!’ church… But did you ever stop to ask, ‘Why?’ If so (or even if not), a new option has arisen from the ‘NO!’-ness. Now announcing the grand opening of; the ‘Why?’ Temple. This brand new Temple is dedicated for those members who have ever stopped to ask ‘Why?’. It is for those of us who refuse to take simply ‘NO!’ for an answer, it is for those of us who demand explanation.
Be bold! Speak out! Never take a plain and simple ‘NO!’ for an answer, and never again have to live in the dark, not understanding.
Membership requirements for the ‘Why?’ Temple are as follows*:
-Renounce any affiliation with the “NO!” church.
-Any time someone tells you ‘NO!’, counter with ‘Why?’
-also sacrifice three goats, two and a half biomorphs, and the lower-left quarter of the right-most sixth of the top half of your firstborn’s twelve thousand seven hundred and ninety third hair he/she ever grows, at an altar made of two thirds monocrystal, one third neodium, exactly 63.753 feet below the elevation of the surface of Loch Ness, all while simultaneously singing the lyrics to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen, drinking exactly one third of a fifth of a pint of Guinness mixed with 3.5478 drops of ink from a 3.781 year-old giant squid, trimming your right pinky toe-nail with a machete, conducting Beethoven’s third symphony with your left ear for an audience of one thousand two-toed sloths, and chopping down the largest tree in the forest with a Herring.
Side effects of joining the ‘Why?’ Temple may include, but are not limited to:
Severe headaches, nausea, shortness of breath, trouble sleeping, a sudden urge to jump up and scream ‘Why?’ at the top of your lungs whenever you hear the word ‘NO!’ in real life, occasional sudden paranoia, incontinence, stomach rumbles to the rhythm of ‘Jingle Bells’, a constant charlie horse in your right leg, and an inexplicable desire to take a shot of tequila every time you blink.
*Please note, if you successfully complete these tasks, nothing will happen. Everyone will only think you are completely insane and will most likely report you to the proper authorities.
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