The meaning of Sweet Rolls - JPhack explains

I’m gonna be honest with you guys, a lot of people are asking my corp and getting me into trouble with these Sweet Rolls shenanigans. 

 

I made this to explain this as simply as possible, so everyone can be on the same page, and really understand the meaning, the use, and the saying of “sweet rolls”. 

 

The meaning - It really means what I say. How simple is that? When I say sweet rolls, its not a form of trolling, but its me literally saying “Look how awesome these pastry treats are!” The meaning though can become deeper then that. For those that know me in game, the meaning changes completely when I’m dog fighting. I call out sweet rolls, meaning my source of power, my elixir of life, the red bull to your coffee. Sweet rolls are nothing more then a little visible addiction to the game. That’s it. I use it to express my feelings, my craziness, and its a way to vent myself when I’m dog fighting 20 people at once. In no way is it trolling at all. How can some people get confused would mean that they lack humor or they really have something against sweet rolls themselves. 

 

The SRDS (sweet roll delivery Squadron) is formed at anytime, by anyone, as long as they have me in a squad. It is a viable indication, that when JP is online and kicking, he is serious, ready for action. With his sweet rolls in one hand and the trigger in the other, you know I mean business. I don’t care if you are better then me, beat me in every match, or troll me. I will just respond by saying “Come at me bro, try to take my sweet rolls away!” and that’s it. 

 

You can easily see how I feel about some things. if you discern how I respond to people talking about my sweet rolls, or my current level of “attachment to the game”. When I talk about giving sweet rolls away or “Here, take this, its dangerous to go alone”, it refers to my way of giving encouragement. Because saying “keep going” or “you can do it” is so mainstream. And JP is never mainstream. 

 

The Use - Simply put, use it when you need it. Its that little boost from my actual consumption of the sweet rolls or the apparent fire in my eyes when I’m playing SC. Use it when you need it. It’s that little boost for me to keep going. That’s it. 

 

Sweet rolls - Active Module - Increases stats across the board by 100%. Precision and aiming increased by 50%. Maneuverability increased by 100% and is doubled when flying an interceptor. Uses 10 energy per second. Squad members are affected by the module only when they are in a 3000 meter radius from JP HACK. JP has the exclusive right to turn it on and off. Sweet rolls do NOT allow for the white flag to be presented in any match for any party. All matches are death matches or objection completions and to be finished as fast as possible.

 

Disclaimer: there is KNOWN side effects from having the module active and eating actual sweet rolls in large quantity’s. If you experience, nasua, headaches, long playing times, wins, a large sum of cash flow, and suddenly turning your frigate into a inty. Please stop using Sweet Rolls immediately.  If you have a winning streak for longer then 4 hours, please go to the local hospital ASAP, as it could lead to a rare but serious side effect in ego boosting. JP Hack is the sole owner of sweet rolls, and can provide subscriptions when asked. NASA is not affiliated with sweet rolls but holds them as exclusive property of the SRDS and its de facto leader JPhack. 

 

Sweet rolls in real life -

  ToffeeSweetRollsLarge.jpg

 

 

TL:DR

 

Sweet rolls are not trolling, but a way for JP to express himself, see image above to what I’m actually referring to. 

 

I really hope this clears everything up. To be honest, it started as a joke and now escalated into who knows where. Let JP have his fun, and if you have a problem or don’t understand me and my intentions, just PM me. I don’t bite. 

 

 

 

TL:DR goes at the beginning…what is the use of putting it at the end? :stuck_out_tongue:

 

And I have to admit that I have never had a sweetroll, and they look kinda…non-delicious in that pic D:

I’m disappointed.

 

Always thought ‘Sweet Rolls’ was some kind of kinky sexual ritual appendage you guys in NASA fiddle with during the wee hours in Teamspeak.

 

Something you Roll on someone and you all go SWEET!

I’m disappointed.

 

Always thought ‘Sweet Rolls’ was some kind of kinky sexual ritual appendage you guys in NASA fiddle with during the wee hours in Teamspeak.

 

Something you Roll on someone and you all go SWEET!

And thats the PRIMARY reason why I had to explain it…

JPhack = Popeye

Sweet Rolls = Spinach

 

Let him eat them and you are doomed :smiley:

 

/thread

JPhack = Popeye

Sweet Rolls = Spinach

 

Let him eat them and you are doomed :smiley:

 

/thread

 

Finally someone understands. When im bitching about my sweet rolls on TS, and then suddenly, we win every match.

TL:DR goes at the beginning…what is the use of putting it at the end? :stuck_out_tongue:

Because you force people to read and then troll them by putting that at the end?

 

Finally someone understands. When im bitching about my sweet rolls on TS, and then suddenly, we win every match.

I want to fly with you lot. Once. Just once.

I figured your sweet rolls were a similar gimmick to popeye’s spinach, or cookie monsters cookies, or something. It’s like me n reggae sauce, that shiz is like my elixir of life.

Some people are just arrogant enough to perceive even the most innocent, irrelevant thing (to them) as something that they’re either at the centre of or somehow involved in, when they’re not. Humble of you to have the patience n explain, though; I mean it’s easier and feels justified to simply ignore these types of people.

I figured your sweet rolls were a similar gimmick to popeye’s spinach, or cookie monsters cookies, or something. It’s like me n reggae sauce, that shiz is like my elixir of life.

Some people are just arrogant enough to perceive even the most innocent, irrelevant thing (to them) as something that they’re either at the centre of or somehow involved in, when they’re not. Humble of you to have the patience n explain, though; I mean it’s easier and feels justified to simply ignore these types of people.

 

yeah, I have been getting alot of “hate” lately, and it was a good idea on my part, and suggested from a close friend, to post it. 

Because you force people to read and then troll them by putting that at the end?

 

I want to fly with you lot. Once. Just once.

 

  1. yes

  2. If ya see me online, or I see you, lets squad up and kick xxxx.

Some people are just arrogant enough to perceive even the most innocent, irrelevant thing (to them) as something that they’re either at the centre of or somehow involved in, when they’re not. Humble of you to have the patience n explain, though; I mean it’s easier and feels justified to simply ignore these types of people.

You know what that’s called?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44

JP i found your heaven (0:30-2:18): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oTcQBOZm5M

It must be your dream come true!

(unless i missed something)

JP i found your heaven (0:30-2:18): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oTcQBOZm5M

It must be your dream come true!

(unless i missed something)

 

OMG I WANT THAT ROOM, I WANT THAT! 

OMG I WANT THAT ROOM, I WANT THAT! 

  1. Skyrim

  2. Mod

  3. 69

  4. ???

  5. Profit!

  1. Skyrim

  2. Mod

  3. 69

  4. ???

  5. Profit!

 

If only there was a sweet roll sticker…

I just got hired as a sweet roll digger for JP:

 

(1:22 - 4:02)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgEXGE4yLhw

THE SWEET ROLL. OMG

 

I just got hired as a sweet roll digger for JP:

 

(1:22 - 4:02)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgEXGE4yLhw

I’m so good at this job!

http://youtu.be/ztk6CgVOwKg?t=10m47s

I’m so good at this job!

http://youtu.be/ztk6CgVOwKg?t=10m47s

 

Did you just…make EVERYTHING a sweet roll. I nearly fell on the floor…

Did you just…make EVERYTHING a sweet roll. I nearly fell on the floor…

Wait wait wait whoa… I’m not the guy who created these mods, i just found them xD

(hence ‘digging’ for them)

I’m just searching for stuff to add to my Skyrim and i come across all this madness. Now i know how your sweet roll infused inty feels like to fly :wink: