Hullo people of Star Conflict! I am writing this entry to ask you all if you would read a Star Conflict Lore story I am writing. This post (if I get a ‘yes’ or two) will hold it, if that is what this forum is for.
Thank you for reading this. I would really like the feedback^^
(If this is in the wrong spot, PLEASE notify me, and tell me where this should go. Thank you.)
So… where’s the story? I don’t see a link and you haven’t typed anything yet. You gonna lay it on us or not?
So… where’s the story? I don’t see a link and you haven’t typed anything yet. You gonna lay it on us or not?
He was asking if people would bother reading it. If there are those who are interested, make effort. If not, waste no effort. It’s a debatable perspective but whatever.
Honest opinion, I’m not really into the lore of this game tbh man, at least not until they integrate it with the actual game a bit more. At the moment Star conflict lore feels about as important as I imagine Team Fortress 2 lore would be. There isn’t enough depth to the game imo; I mean, all you fight over is beacons, beacons beacons beacons, captain, beacons bloody beacons. Yawn. It’s a fun game, don’t get me wrong.
I know Jasanquinn is into his lore and stuff, perhaps you could speak to him.
Good luck with your story though 
Thank you for the feedback, St1r. I hope the story comes along fine as well XD
I DO understand your position…but I wanted to create a lore for the game, solely because I believe I could integrate it decently; better than other games I’ve tried. I am in the editing stage of the first part…so I’mma take a guess and say it’ll be here by tomorrow or the day next.
This is the first part to the story. Thank you for reading, if you do. Please, critique or compliment if you like^^ (Yes, the editing went MUCH faster than I thought)
“Commander! Three bogies, set ten o’clock high!” Instantly, the Fighter-Command ship UJN Reliant’s direction changed to said aim, and fired its MAK MkIII cannons, completely obliterating it’s target with ease.
“Haha! Eat that, scumbag!” Commander-2nd-class Tobias Wolffe smirked at the latest kill. “Layla,” He called for the ship’s artificial intelligence, “Scan the ship. Who was it?”
“Scanning…” Layla started the scan; pausing speech for a few minutes. “This was a ship classified as a frigate; Engineer based. It was piloted by humanoids. These humanoids were most likely bandits.”
“Hmph. Good.” Wolffe nodded, and turned to his crew of eight. “Good job, guys! You played your parts well.” The conclusion was accepted, as they continued on their patrols of the outer sector.
“Nothing much, huh?” Gunnery Sergeant Lance Fortuna smirked, leaning back in his seat.
“Damn right…that was easiest yet!” Wolffe grinned, and patted the control unit. “This ol gal’s runnin perfect and indestructible!”
“Thank you, commander.” Layla spoke through the intercom headset Wolffe wore. The commander nodded, and grinned.
“Tis the best one made yet!” The engineer–and maker of the ship, Master Sergeant Miles Letinburgh smiled, complimenting his own works. The AXE prototype X was the best creation he has made yet. Wolffe patted Letinburgh’s back.
“Nice ship, mate.” He smiled. “Works well!”
“It’s meant to!” They laughed together, on the success of the prototype command ship. Suddenly, the light shale coloured HUD systems turned a blood red; systems and alarms spouted off.
“Enemies sighted!” Fortuna growled. The outer-hull cams turned on, sending feed to the main screen. Four Interceptors of the Galactic Federation rushed into their attack space. The iridium core engines whirred as the Interceptors slowed to a glide.
“Sir,” Layla began notification. “A com-line is being requested.”
“Open it. Line two.” Wolffe nodded as he gave the command. Soon enough, the crew of eight could see a middle-aged man with five stars on his shoulder.
“Commander 2nd class Tobias M. Wollfe?” The man asked. Wolffe nodded.
“That’s me.”
“You’re named the best Commander the Jericho Nation owns?” A slight hint of disgust spouted from the General’s tone. Wolffe growled.
“Damn right I am. Who’s asking?”
“General James Wetburkur.” The GFR General, at his name, hummed with a tune of self pride. Wolffe scoffed again. “There’s a warrant for your arrest at the Galactic Federation. You need to come with us.” With the General’s words, Wolffe sneered.
“Last I checked, I’m not in your sectors, mate…isn’t that trespassing? Illegal?” The general only growled.
“Fine. We’ll do this the hard way!” The roars of the iridium core engines could be heard with the sub-sonic microphones that the AXE had built into it. Fortuna flipped a few switches, turning the AXE X from its standard fitting to attack mode. The MAK MkIII railguns revved up, and instantly fired upon the interceptors; the first one that was hit exploded instantly. The railgun cannons turned to the second, who was firing upon the Reliant.
“Layla! Diffusion shield!” Wolffe shouted.
“Yes sir.” The hex-built shield appeared in a bubble around the ship, protecting it from damage.
“Fortuna,” Wolffe started. “Lock onto that Interceptor, and blow its brains out! Pilot!!” Wolffe’s attention turned to 1st Lieutenant Doniell Pierce.
“Yessir?”
“Fly around the xxxxxxxx!!”
“Gottit!” Pierce grinned, kicking in the afterburners, and speeding off at the highest battle speed available: 283 units. They flew under the two Interceptors, as the missile launched exploded the second. The third; the General’s ship, darted off; no words with the retreat. Wolffe grinned.
“Good.” The ship was quiet for what seemed like hours.
“Sir…you realize you’ve caused war!?” Fortuna asked.
“Does that scare you, Gunney?” Wolffe countered.
“Hell no!” Amusement filled the gunner’s voice. “I’m up for it! Definitely!”
“Good!” Wolffe turned to his crew. “Boys, let’s head back. We need to tell the family about this news.”
*******
“What!?” Ada Sonex; fleet commander, shouted in anger. “They attacked us!?”
“Apparently, I’m wanted in their sectors…” Wolffe admitted.
“And why?”
“They wouldn’t tell me.” Wolffe shrugged. “They just said come along. As I told them they were trespassing-” he was cut off by Sonex.
“They were in OUR sectors?!”
“Yes. Anyway, they attacked. We destroyed two Interceptors.”
“Damn…” Sonex thought for a few minutes. “I will inform the family. Good day to you, Commander. May your next patrol be a little more…soothing.” Wolffe and Sonex bowed in unison, and turned, walking opposite directions. Sonex stepped onto the shuttle that would lead to the Family home, as Wolffe stepped back to his hangar. His crew waited in anticipation.
“Sir…” Fortuna began, not finishing his question.
“Start up the Reliant. We’re going on a Federation hunt.” Wolffe had stepped behind them, walking to his ship. When he noticed their lack of movement, he turned. “That’s an order, crew!” He barked; eyes seeming to glow red. The crew instantly jolted to the ship; into their positions for flight. As Wolffe entered, the crew saluted; the custom for any Jericho ship.
“Where to, Commander?” Pierce asked.
“To the heartland of the Federation. ASAP.” With thoughts unknown to the crew, Wolffe smirked. The engines whirred, and the ship slowly raised from its lock. The UJN Reliant turned to the exit gate, and darted off, into the vast space they called both home and grave.
(Yes, it is written right here; no link. You mad, bruh? XD)
My name was spoken, and thus I am summoned from the black.
Lore is definitely my thing. I have my own theories and concepts as to how various aspects of the universe work, based in part by observations, partly from material that is now removed from the game (like stuff that gave an approximate age to the ships) and partly my own wild imaginings.
The thing that jumps out at me is the inconsistent feel of time. The Axe-X is described as a prototype, yet it is a Tier 1 ship and, based on the Imperial timeline, would be largely obsolete by now. Clearly, the Axe is still being used, but by mercenaries, not professional soldiers. Thus, for the Axe-X to be a prototype it would make more sense for the story to be set around 1,000 years before the present, which in turn makes it awkward for the Federation to be the opposition.
Also, the Axe-X seems to have multiple crew in the story, but given the size of the ship it is probably a single-seat craft, or a two-seat craft at most (unlikely due to Jericho’s technologically sophisticated nature).
Still, these are merely observations that are, if I’m honest, based on canon that may have been abandoned by now. Well, except the size of the Fighter - that’s easily measured.
If you’re interested, I made a thread about the age of ships in Star Conflict. You may find it interesting / useful for your writing.
[http://forum.star-conflict.com/www.scevolution.com?/topic/20444-age-of-star-conflict-vessels/](< base_url >/www.scevolution.com?/topic/20444-age-of-star-conflict-vessels/)
If you want details on my own head-canon, then feel free to ask. That’s much more complex, but it may prove useful to use as a framework for your own creations.
[…]
Also, the Axe-X seems to have multiple crew in the story, but given the size of the ship it is probably a single-seat craft, or a two-seat craft at most (unlikely due to Jericho’s technologically sophisticated nature).
[…]
To point out an example, refer to Eve Online capsules. Just that AFAIK in SCon jerries dont need pods, they are directly neuro-linked to the ship’s systems inside the ship. It is another reason why Jeri ships have no windows / viewable cockpits, almost everything is mind-controlled. In addition to outside cameras on the ship you could think of sensors of multiple types.
I used the AXE X as a prototype solely because of the X. Jericho are the direct descendants of humans, who use X as prototype. For the size, I looked at the Human-To-AXE size comparison in-game. You can see the ship, and how large humanoids are compared to it. I also preferred not to use mind-controlled systems, and went to a simpler crew-moderated ship. For one reason: it allows for more writing and description. I DO know this is a flawed story, but again, I am new here, so I am going by what I know. Thank you A LOT for what you all have given me. *bows* The next chapter will come out within the next two weeks, hopefully.
Oh, and to the cams, I decided to go with them because I prefer a direct visual. I would believe that Commander Wolffe would be the same (he IS a piece of me, after all v.v)
Hullo, people! I have decently bad news; this week’s chapter will be posponed due to other stories, and school/working/other crap. I am sorry. v.v
Somehow I missed this thread entirely…
My name was spoken, and thus I am summoned from the black.
Lore is definitely my thing. I have my own theories and concepts as to how various aspects of the universe work, based in part by observations, partly from material that is now removed from the game (like stuff that gave an approximate age to the ships) and partly my own wild imaginings.
The thing that jumps out at me is the inconsistent feel of time. The Axe-X is described as a prototype, yet it is a Tier 1 ship and, based on the Imperial timeline, would be largely obsolete by now. Clearly, the Axe is still being used, but by mercenaries, not professional soldiers. Thus, for the Axe-X to be a prototype it would make more sense for the story to be set around 1,000 years before the present, which in turn makes it awkward for the Federation to be the opposition.
Also, the Axe-X seems to have multiple crew in the story, but given the size of the ship it is probably a single-seat craft, or a two-seat craft at most (unlikely due to Jericho’s technologically sophisticated nature).
Still, these are merely observations that are, if I’m honest, based on canon that may have been abandoned by now. Well, except the size of the Fighter - that’s easily measured.
If you’re interested, I made a thread about the age of ships in Star Conflict. You may find it interesting / useful for your writing.
[http://forum.star-conflict.com/www.scevolution.com?/topic/20444-age-of-star-conflict-vessels/](< base_url >/www.scevolution.com?/topic/20444-age-of-star-conflict-vessels/)
If you want details on my own head-canon, then feel free to ask. That’s much more complex, but it may prove useful to use as a framework for your own creations.
*mindblown* Especially the ‘age of ships’ part…
Anyway, back on topic… pardon me if I sound very critical.
Show, don’t tell. Sprinkling some descriptions allows the reader to easily imagine what’s going on. I can’t really visualize the combat scenes; they just kinda happened. If we were to imagine this as a film, this could probably be an exciting combat scene that serves as the opening to the whole film.
Also, the personalities of your characters don’t really come out fully. I actually have a more complete idea of what Fortuna is like as compared to Wolfe:
“Nothing much, huh?” Gunnery Sergeant Lance Fortuna smirked, leaning back in his seat.
“Enemies sighted!” Fortuna growled.
Based on just these two lines, I’m guessing Fortuna is a relaxed guy who is serious and dependable when the situation calls for it. Not a lot of information, but it’s enough if Fortuna’s a minor character.
However, there are some things that don’t need to be shown, but just ‘told’ (i.e. get it over and done with ASAP). IMO the first scene about the frigate doesn’t really contribute to the story, so that could have been given a passing mention.