(must read with your thickest Russian accent)
In Russian Bible, Jesus turn water into vodka.
Now I tell you story of the good Ukrainian. One day, Russian man walk down road when UN Committee attacks him, takes his nukes, AK47s, and vodka. They leave him die on road. Vodka seller come by in tank, he see poor man lying in road but drive by on other side. Nuclear Arms Coordinator also come by in tank, but he too drive on other side. But then Ukrainian come down road. he take pity on man and puts him on his own tank. He give him vodka for his wounds (and to drink of course!) and give him ak47 shaped teddy bear to comfort him. He drive him to hotel in Moscow and say to inn keeper, if this man need nukes, AK47, or vodka, i pay on my own ruble.