==========================An Announcement from Ellydium Corporation==========================
Ellydium Corporation acknowledges that it has received criticism for the devastation its products are capable of on the battlefield. In respnse, we have decided to shift our efforts towards creating a different kind of Alien technology. Starting today, pilots with a license get early access to Ellydium’s new line of erotic alien toys. Choose from products such as the Crystallid Cream, the Bouncy Biomorph, the Bigh’Dik, and more! Leading Ellydium scientist Conrad Dimeni would also like to remind all pilots that intercourse with the upcoming frigate “Waz’got” is now not only safe, but encouraged, as the ship has received numerous onboard facilities for pleasuring the captain and crew. But don’t worry, pilots, we haven’t forgotten about our older models. The agile Tai’kin will be receiving an upgrade that allows it to transfer warp energy directly into the pilot’s genitals. Likewise, the powerful Thar’ga will be receiving a special module that enables the pilot to experience intense Crystallid orgams that are exponentially more powerful than their human counterparts. Dimeni himself is temporarily unavailable for further comment, as he is personally performing extensive tests of the Waz’got’s capabilities. If the Waz’got proves itself both on the battlefield and in the bedroom, its technology will be upscaled and implemented in future projects, such as our command ship, designed to simultaneously provide protection and unprecedented levels of pleasure to its pilot. Ellydium Corporation is excited for what the future of Alien technology holds, and we look forward to designing, testing, and sharing new products with pilots all across the galaxy.
